And it continues

Had an e-mail back from Real Life - they don't employ runners, only researchers at entry level, and advised me I would need more experience to be a researcher. They sounded positive about work experience but rightly guessed it would be an issue to get to as I don't live near Leeds.

First rejection but a positive one, and in a way it's encouraged me and spurred me on to try harder. :)

Mother continues to make my life hell, seemingly just because I am jobless this means I am not allowed to have fun with friends or leave the prison, ahem, house, oh and she double crossed me again, said she'd pay for half the cost of my driving lesson if I did 'housework' - so yes I cooked, cleaned, washed up, hoovered, etc etc - went to ask for money and mother turned round and said housework means house repair and restoration - double crossing bitch I tell you... I can't rely on her for anything, she lies and goes back on her promises 24/7 - she'll have me in debt if I am not careful.

It's the lying that pisses me off. If you're going to be late because you're still in the office at your desk, tell me, not lie that you're just leaving the office when I can tell you're blatantly still at work cos I can hear phones ringing. If you can't afford something, say so. If you want me to do jobs for money - make it clear what you want, then stick to it and don't go back on your word. I don't mind if we can't afford things, I don't mind doing jobs, I don't mind hardship, hell knows I've had enough, but I abhor lying - it makes me so mad - it's the lowest thing you can do in some respects and she needs to grow a fucking backbone and be honest.

Maybe she doesn't want me around because I cost money and make her look bad to her friends, or maybe she's jealous I have real friends and go out and have fun all the time while she's always working and lonely or ill because she's worked too hard (yes it's her fault, if you know her, don't believe her sympathy-wanting sob stories, she knows full well how working so hard makes her that ill and she does have a choice).

I know and appreciate how bitchy and evil I sound in the above post, but look at it from my point of view. I am 19, never lived anywhere apart from the family home, never had a "proper" job (because I was too busy getting my triple distinction at college!) and the least I could ask for is just for mum to be civil in this hard time, if not some support and real encouragement, and practical help with letter writing etc. But not bullying. All what she is doing now achieves is me feeling shite and suffering from my depression, and as some of my friends who suffer know, when it kicks in, you wouldn't move to save your life let alone be bothered with letter writing.

I hope it all stops soon and I feel for the other young adults out there who have to deal with this shit and even worse on a daily basis. I also urge parents to be careful in how you deal with your kids at this stage, I know I shouldn't tell you how to do your job and you want the best for your kids, but just make sure your "best" is coming across in a nice way - as help and encouragement, not nagging and bullying. By all means kick their arse if they don't want to get a job and contribute, but if they want to get a job and are trying in this difficult economical and employment to get one - please encourage and help nicely and positively. Thanks!! :D :D