Uuuugggh.

I have a cold turning into a cough and a fever. I just want my boyfriend back in my arms, and I just want a job in TV post production, in the industry I love, and a new life, away from this place.
Boyfriend will be at uni for 4 years at least now, more if he chooses to do a phd, so I am just gonna have to learn to deal with that.

I have sent my CV to the BBC and applied for a post production runner's position at a place in London.

Fingers crossed. I just want out of this life and to start the life I have dreamed of since Martin first showed me what post production and working in TV was all about back in Febuary 2007. From that day on I've only had one wish and that was to work in television. I just can't imagine myself anywhere else. When I was on work experience it all just felt so right, it felt like home. If I imagine myself in any other industry I just see myself wishing I was in telly. I know it's hard and I am ready for it, but at the same time, I just want my dream to start coming true - by getting my foot on the first rung of the ladder.

I only have one dream and I will cling onto it and make it come true or die trying, cos I will fight to achieve this dream for the rest of my life. In this day and age so many people I know my age have no direction, no ambition, they don't know what to do with their lives and they are scared to dream, or don't know how to. It's so sad. But I have a dream and one day it will become a reality.

I love video editing, I love post production, I am confident, determined, ambitious, good with people. I used to tell myself I was shit and useless because everything always used to go wrong for me and everyone said I was shit. Then I discovered TV and started doing media at college and suddenly I found something I loved and could do. I still lacked self-confidence but I was determined to prove all my doubters wrong. Now 2 years, 3 weeks BBC work experience and a triple distinction in media later, I am well on track to proving them wrong and I have gained self-belief and learnt and done more than I ever thought possible, and had the best times of my life. I can do this. Somewhere out there is the place for me to begin my dream for real, and I'm ready to go get it and grab it by the horns.

Jules the future video editor,
over and out.