Ok, so I got the job as runner on the winter olympics!! I am SO SO HAPPY!!! :D :D :D :D
Jules xx
Friday, 29 January 2010
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Direction please!!
It's over half way through January and I have gone nowhere except backwards. Whereas before I was living happily ignorantly on my savings, I am having to really watch my money now, I'm in serious shit. I left college in June, and while I had always planned to take the 'summer holidays' time as a kind of mini gap year and relaxation, that seems a million years ago now. I just feel like I am wasting my life, not to mention my money, waiting for the BBC to actually give me some work.
I want to be excited about the course I am supposed to be going on on Friday which should mean I can work in the studios, but I dare not get excited in case it turns out that I'm not on the course, or that there isn't any work afterwards. I am praying that there will be, but I am really losing the hope and faith now. I lasted 2 weeks in a Soho house and now, life in its usual complete bastard fashion, has dangled my dream job in front of my nose, and yet kept it just out of my reach. All I want to do is get working. All I want is to be working in TV. Not because I want to be rich or famous - because it's what I love. It's the one thing I want in the world and I can't get it.
If I don't get work in February I will probably have to move home. Do you have any idea how much bullshit there is to swim through, and hoops to jump through, to claim benefits? Especially housing benefit?
I feel so disheartened. I know it's a bloody tough industry and I shouldn't give up, but it just seems that something out there is determined to make me pack it in, and keep me from what I love. But every time I think about throwing in the towel and trying for a 'normal' career in a shop or something, something stops me. Possibly it's just fear or cowardice, but it's keeping me here like an idiot, praying and waiting for some work.
I feel down now, but earlier today something great happened. I attended the volunteers briefing meeting for the London International Documentary Festival. At first I wasn't put in the video production team like I'd so very much wished for, but I spoke to Filip, the co-ordinator, and practically made him put me in the video production team. I guess he thought with me being so young I hadn't had any experience or didn't know much. Bollocks!
The thing was, everyone there was in their early or late twenties, and they were all in uni or had already gone through it. All the girls are dressed nicely, fashionably and smartly. BUT this time, in a social situation, I relaxed. I said 'what the fuck, I am me, I will go my own jeans'n'tshirt way. And you know what? We all got on great. It was brilliant. And my lack of uni was more than made up for when everyone found out I worked for the BBC. All these 23-25 year old graduates wanted the job I have. I'm not being cocky about this - I feel sodding lucky to have my BBC work experience let alone my job - but it was nice in a way because it all put us on an even level. We had a great chat in the meeting and in the pub afterwards, and I had to go early to see my friend, but when I got up to leave I put my Nightwish hoodie on, and Filip said they were one of his fave bands and we needed a chat sometime. Happy days!
They are a great bunch of people and I can't wait to get working on the festival. Now I just have to pray the BBC have work for me...
Remember, as I am doing now, even though life is bloody shit, somewhere there is good stuff.
Peace out,
Jules xx
I want to be excited about the course I am supposed to be going on on Friday which should mean I can work in the studios, but I dare not get excited in case it turns out that I'm not on the course, or that there isn't any work afterwards. I am praying that there will be, but I am really losing the hope and faith now. I lasted 2 weeks in a Soho house and now, life in its usual complete bastard fashion, has dangled my dream job in front of my nose, and yet kept it just out of my reach. All I want to do is get working. All I want is to be working in TV. Not because I want to be rich or famous - because it's what I love. It's the one thing I want in the world and I can't get it.
If I don't get work in February I will probably have to move home. Do you have any idea how much bullshit there is to swim through, and hoops to jump through, to claim benefits? Especially housing benefit?
I feel so disheartened. I know it's a bloody tough industry and I shouldn't give up, but it just seems that something out there is determined to make me pack it in, and keep me from what I love. But every time I think about throwing in the towel and trying for a 'normal' career in a shop or something, something stops me. Possibly it's just fear or cowardice, but it's keeping me here like an idiot, praying and waiting for some work.
I feel down now, but earlier today something great happened. I attended the volunteers briefing meeting for the London International Documentary Festival. At first I wasn't put in the video production team like I'd so very much wished for, but I spoke to Filip, the co-ordinator, and practically made him put me in the video production team. I guess he thought with me being so young I hadn't had any experience or didn't know much. Bollocks!
The thing was, everyone there was in their early or late twenties, and they were all in uni or had already gone through it. All the girls are dressed nicely, fashionably and smartly. BUT this time, in a social situation, I relaxed. I said 'what the fuck, I am me, I will go my own jeans'n'tshirt way. And you know what? We all got on great. It was brilliant. And my lack of uni was more than made up for when everyone found out I worked for the BBC. All these 23-25 year old graduates wanted the job I have. I'm not being cocky about this - I feel sodding lucky to have my BBC work experience let alone my job - but it was nice in a way because it all put us on an even level. We had a great chat in the meeting and in the pub afterwards, and I had to go early to see my friend, but when I got up to leave I put my Nightwish hoodie on, and Filip said they were one of his fave bands and we needed a chat sometime. Happy days!
They are a great bunch of people and I can't wait to get working on the festival. Now I just have to pray the BBC have work for me...
Remember, as I am doing now, even though life is bloody shit, somewhere there is good stuff.
Peace out,
Jules xx
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Happy New Year...sort of.
Well that was a nice new year... felt a tad dodgy but went ahead with the new year's eve drinks... come new year's day I am laid flat with some weird bug, couldn't breathe properly due to crap on my chest, coughing lots, either freezing cold or boiling hot, delirious the whole time, and legs terribly achey - not nice at all! The alcohol had little to do with it except make me even more dehydrated - bloody bugs.
And I think I am supposed to be working on Moday but no-one from the BBC has told me anything about when I am going back in, so... I don't have a clue.
Happy new year!!
And I think I am supposed to be working on Moday but no-one from the BBC has told me anything about when I am going back in, so... I don't have a clue.
Happy new year!!
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